The Inner Workings of...

The Struggle Will Not Be Televised - PART II

2009-12-17T09:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the DC City Council officially voted to for the gay marriage bill in DC. They now join Massachusetts as the only other place in the US where gay marriage is legal.

While this is a step closer in ensuring that we are all treated fairly and equally, there were quite the voices of disappointment and disgust amongst the social networking sites that this vote passed.

My friend, we'll call him, "Brother Pastor" is one of those who is disappointed in the vote and stated quite emphatically "Marriage belongs to GOD".

He along with another friend, we'll call him, "Daddy Soldier" got into a very interesting and at times heated debate on Twitter a couple of weeks ago.

My honest belief is that for the most part some of the fraternity brothers I regularly associate with or come into contact on a regular basis (monthly or weekly) are some of the most homophobic men I will ever encounter in life. I made a statement to that effect on Twitter and that sparked a conversation which I found at times enlightening and disappointing at the same time.

Brother Pastor and Daddy Soldier emphatically disagreed. Daddy Soldier said he didn't see the need for brothers to be homophobic since "almost every chapter had one". When I mentioned that I had witnessed this behavior for myself; brothers making homophobic jokes and making situations so uncomfortable that gay brothers had to live a double life so they could be accepted as part of the chapter and fraternity and also remain happy with their true self, they both agreed that behavior was wrong. Brother Pastor said that even though they were his fraternity brother that would not stop him from telling his "brother" that they were living wrong and going against God's plan especially if these brothers considered themselves Christians.

Please do not misunderstand.

Brother Pastor is someone who I respect and have sought council from on numerous occassions for personal related issues. We do not agree on this one subject. He has been called to minister and spread the word of GOD. I can not fault him nor criticize him for his beliefs they are his and he is responsible for how he communicates those beliefs and how he governs himself accordingly. With that said, we do not agree on this subject.

Like the hymn says, "WE SHALL NOT BE MOVED."

He and I are clear about where we stand on this subject.

My argument that day and everyday is that jokes and intolerance have no place in society. I have never said you have to accept anyone's sexual orientation but in that same vein no one has the right to make anyone feel uncomfortable or less than because of whom they love.

I have a sorority sister that said being a lesbian is way much harder than being a gay man. I have other fraternity brothers and sisters that claim that they, gays, lesbian, bisexual and trandsgender people, have it hard because it's a choice they made. When I listen to all of these people speak and I see how friends and family members that are gay and lesbian are treated, I ask myself, Who in their right mind thinks that to live your life this way, with all the rejection and pain and mental thought process that comes with coming out, is a choice?

Knowing that there are still people who think and believe that gay and lesbian people are an abomination to God and that there are some that would cause physical and verbal harm to them; why would they purposely choose to live their life this way?

This is not a choice.

From everything I have seen family and friends struggle for acceptance and life happiness, it's not a choice.

I am not here to bring converts to the way I think nor is the purpose of this piece to scream from the roof tops about the injustices I have seen, continue to see and what my friends have experienced nor those who are my friends that disapprove.

There is power in words.

More than we can imagine.

Sometimes these words and actions put into reactions laws that we as a country think will never affect us.

Think not?

Lawmakers in the African country of Burundi have secretly created a bill, which was signed by the President of that country making it illegal to be gay. Nigeria has passed a law that punishes anyone found living in a gay union by placing them in jail for 3 - 5 years. Anyone caught helping any gay or lesbian couple will be punished in jail for 5 years.

Burundi Lawmakers Secretly Criminilize Being Gay

Uganda is the worst offender. The have proposed a bill which makes being gay punishable by death if you have been previously convicted of being gay, are HIV positive, are persons having gay sex under the age of 18 and by penalising companies, groups, media organizations and individuals who support LGBT groups, individuals or forums.

The saddest part in all these bills is that they are being supported by prominent US religious figures.

The Rachel Maddow Show: US Ties to Ugandan Anti-Gay Bill

Its about time people as a whole wake up and realize that we are all so much more than what occurs behind the door of our bedrooms.

"Love Thy Neighbor"; but kill thy neighbor when it does not fall into the doctrine we believe?

Somehow all those thousands of centuries ago, I seriously doubt this is what Moses, Jesus and his disciples wanted to profess to the world at large.

There are no different sects of races; there is just one the human race.

Stride Towards Equality - Part I

2009-12-15T21:15:00.000-08:00

Every so often emails will roll around with the title, “You Know You Are a Child of the 60s, 70s, 80s…” Reading these emails remind us of a simpler time. As we read them it will make us spontaneously laugh in certain parts and reminisce about fond childhood events.

How times have changed.

Today with all the technological advances, news is literally delivered in seconds. What was once back in the day considered a blip on the screen, can become major news and the leading story based on society’s chatter on twitter, facebook, and other social networking sites. The day of what constituted the news format from 15 years ago is no more. We are in a day and age of technology, the internet and texting.

I try and hold on to the people and things that mean the most to me and bring me comfort while adapting to all the newness of modern technology. As the years have passed, I have come to appreciate the attribute of discernment. It’s not something I always appreciated when I was younger.

It’s like my own skin now; I embrace and wear it like my favorite pair of fuzzy warm socks or that favorite ratty t-shirt that you will wear on days you want to just laze around. Discernment has lead me to have a strong core group of friends. One of these friends, I have known since 10th grade. He is an adopted member of my family. He currently lives in Milan, Italy. He has lived there for the last 15 yrs. Ours is a friendship that no matter what the distance or how many weeks or months or even years may go by, when we connect it’s like yesterday.

We know each other like a well worn shoe.

So it’s not unusual to get a call out of the blue from him; towards the end of September, I got such a call. He called and without any preamble straight up asked was I going to the march. I work and go to school full time; clearly I had missed something.

I asked, “What march?”

“The National March for Equality on October 11th” he said.

As we were talking I was furiously trying to finish a report at work and web surfing for information about this march he was now yelling about in my ear. We both had to hang up the call because of other matters and a 5 hr time difference. The conversation moved to facebook and quickly deteriorated to a funny and obnoxious banter back and forth. During all the furious posts back and forth I promised to attend the march.

The National March for Equality was a march held on Sunday, October 11th, 2009, Columbus Day weekend. The march coincided with National Coming Out Day. For many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals the march was a call to action for many. The need to urge the President, Congress and the Senate to ensure equal rights for all is paramount.

The days passed by and my friend and I did not communicate very much, which is not unusual for us, but I kept making preparations for the march. An old college friend, who is a flight attendant for Delta Airlines, saw my facebook status about the march and decided to come with his life partner and his life partner’s brother. All 3 of them are gay and had never participated in a march or rally. I got on facebook again and asked to see if anyone had a jogger style stroller because I was taking my son.

No one had one and if they did they did not offer.

Not to be deterred, I continued making plans for the day.

As the time got closer I got more and more excited.

The day of the march was like any other sunny fall day in DC. I woke up and then woke up my son and got ready and dressed for church. Going to attend church in DC, all the way from Stafford, VA at my son's grandmother church is a tradition I instituted once my son was born. My son's grandmother is very involved in her church and very much a conservative black southern woman who is a walking quandary at times.

She knew I was taking him to the march. I talk about almost everything with her, especially as it concerns her grandchild since she lives so far away I try to keep her and my mom informed and feel as if they are participating in his life. My grandparents lived a block away while I was growing up and I've always known how important their presence and influence in my life has been and I am in a way of sorts trying to build the same for my son. My son's granndmother is a former participant of the civil rights marches. She is also a retired nurse. She was not in total agreement with her 2 year old grandchild attending this march; not because she was against what they were marching for but her concern was for his safety and health, in terms of being surrounded by so many people.

"Takoma Church" is for all intent and purpose like a second home. The parishioners there are almost like a second family. My mother in law prayed for us to get pregnant in front of this congregation. My son had his church blessing in this church. We have attended all special functions in this church. It is not surprising to have any and every one from this congregation come and ask about him and our well being.

On this particular Sunday, two of the church's older ladies, one is a deconess, decided to approach me with their "concerns" after church. I was already late for the march and I still needed to go to my son's grandmother's house and change for the march. I stopped and listened to what they wanted to talk about. What I assumed would be a friendly chat about my son getting so big and how precious was my mistake.

These two women proceeded to tell me about the mistake and danger "young parents" make by letting their child(ren) be exposed to anyone and have contact with certain "types of people." That as parents we needed to once in a while listen and take the advice of our elders. At this point, I know I am going to loose whatever composure I have in front of the church, so my son's grandmother comes up and I ask her to take my son to the car.

I consider myself a very opinionated at times but there are certain lines I will never cross; telling another parent how to parent their child is one.

I strongly told these two women that while they were entitled to their own opinion, my son has a mother and a father who will raise, teach and guide him through life as we see fit. That the one thing we will never allow them or anyone else to do is teach him intolerance, discrimnation or hate. This is not an option in our household.

Needless to say the conversation deteriorated and I was quite vocal about what parts of their lives they should be concerned about and I even mentioned church "gossip" about the two of them and how they should be concerned with repairing the image the congregation has of them instead of trying to offer advise that is not wanted nor warranted

We finally made it to the march.

As I placed my son in his regular stroller, grabbed our homemade signs; I placed a call to my friends and proceeded to walk to meet up with them. Along the way, we saw people from all ethnic backgrounds and ages. There was a young man in his 20's holding a sign with his wife, who is black.

The sign read "Our marriage was once illegal".

As we walked further, we saw two elderly men holding signs.

Their signs mentioned they had been together for over 38 years and that one of them was 82 years. He was still waiting for equal rights in his lifetime.

There were various different types of couples with and with out children. Whether they were straight or gay was not the point. The point was that I saw families, happy children running around, some even coming up to my son to get him to play. Parents supporting their gay or lesbian children and a ton of college age kids that were empowered enough to voice their concerns and wanting to make a difference.

My friends and I met up and I gave my son the home made sign I made for this day.

My friends were moved to tears once they saw my son holding the sign I made. This prompted several others around us at the march to take my son's picture holding the sign. I am told his picture made it into several different types of publications as one of the many shots of the day.

I knew at that precise moment and time that I needed to capture that moment for my best friend in Milan, my son's godfather in London and all my friends on facebook, Twitter and on various listservs that could not attend but were there in spirit. I took my camera phone out and I snapped his picture.

I've had many ask me why was it so important to take my son.

My answer was not simple nor was it out of some sense or need to be provacative.

For as long as I can remember, my dad has always taken me and my younger sister to rallys, marches, hunger strikes and political rallies in Miami that are anti-Castro and anti-communism. I was too young many times to fully understand why this was important or why so many women would come just to stand there and yell and cry but I remember asking questions and looking at old photographs and asking my dad who are these people and why are they important and his answer was always the same.

"We are here because they are not. We are here because they can't speak or defend themselves. We are here becausethe world needs to know of the injustices going on in Cuba."

What I learned at that very age was that your voice matters even if those who you are speaking, marching, rallying for are not there, it matters.

Most of all I took my son and I captured that moment so that he will always remember that tolerance and love will always prevail in the face of bigotry, intolerance and hate.

SLEEPING IN THE BED HE MADE?!?!?

2009-12-08T22:01:00.000-08:00

Unless you have been living under a rock you can't have missed the blaring headlines for the last two weeks.

Tiger crashes car at 2-ish am the day after Thanksgiving...

Tiger linked to woman who has been with NY Yankees Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter and actor David Borenaez.

Tiger's wife confronts his mistress!!!

Car crash... Mistress(es), ten and counting, coming out of the wood work for their 15 minutes of so called fame.

You can't get away from it. It’s dominated the news.

It’s been the leading story on a lot of networks.

It’s a sad state of affairs because it’s really none of our business.

He cheated on his wife and they only people that matter in this whole fiasco are him, his wife and their two kids.

What this sordid story has done is begun a discussion amongst the black community about Tiger.

There have been the jokes...

"Today Tiger is finally a black man..."

"Tiger couldn't have cheated on a sista because they would be reporting on his funeral"

Now mind you all these jokes come from the black community.

Today I posed the facebook status as to why should I care that his wife possibly ODs. Later on we would find out it was his mother-in-law who was rushed to the hospital because she collapsed from serious stomach pains.

Bottom line is none of this affects me. It’s not going to pay my mortgage, bills and his issues are not going to put food on the table for my 2 year old son. Why should I care?

That one status led to one of the most frank and open discussions had by two very good friends. "Mrs. Dr" and "Party Man", (identities are being concealed as to protect their privacy), quickly replied.

Party Man believes that racism is at the root cause of Tiger's downfall. Mrs. Dr and I both firmly believe that racism does not play into this case.

What I found out was that they represented very real segments of their community, the black community. They believe like many within the community exactly what they were discussing with each other.

Party Man believes that this is a systematic approach of racism. A black man or minority does well beyond anyone's belief and the minute he or she falters she is brought down with an Iron First of Retribution. It does not matter to him that Tiger is the cause of his downfall. What matters is the reaction to his mistakes.

While Tiger has identified himself as Cablasian, there is strong sentiment within the black community that Tiger in a way is getting a good dose of what every day black people experience; criticism, judgemental views and racist remarks about an issue which does not affect anyone but him.

While they embrace his accomplishments as their own; they question his blackness for only dating white women. A billionaire athlete, the first of his kind, and he is the picture of racial mixing who has only publicly dated white women. This strikes a chord of apathy and disgust within some within the black community.

This is a subject that is TABOO within the black community and for that matter the Latino community as well.

Race and class as it pertains within the black community is a subject that has always been skirted around but very rarely have open dialogues taken place. "If you make it out of the hood, then make sure that you come up in all aspects; neighborhood, friends and places to hang out." These are comments that are whispered amongst family and close friends; in the deep recesses of the barber shop and the beauty salon. Many within the black community feel that if you make it out of the hood you owe to the the community to not forget from where you came. You are suppose to give back. Help those left behind get a "foot in the door" and open doors that would otherwise be closed.

When Tiger first came out as a professional there was one commercial that many are now speaking about since this whole media storm broke. The commercial for Nike where he is walking a golf course and he starts talking about what he's accomplished so far and it ends with him looking straight into the camera and stating that there are courses he is still not allowed to play or even step foot.

It was a prolific commercial and moment.

One that gave a community hope that he would be the one to speak against the injustices still experienced in the professional sports.

Good enough to play but not good enough to be the head coach.

Good enough to play but not good enough to be the CEO of a league.

Good enough to play but not the right skin color for membership.

Alas, it was one commercial and done. Tiger has never addressed the issue since that time.

His career, life and brand all marketed to ensure that he would not offend the one community that idolized. The one community his sponsors and handlers knew would ensure that money would be spent.

The white community.

All this Party Man pointed out and emphatically stated that no one in America with real power wants to see a man like Tiger Woods, the first billionaire athlete who is also black really succeed because that success gives credence and power to the fact that if he did then others can and will do.

Mrs. Dr believes that the opposite that this whole Tiger fiasco is not part of a greater conspiracy but solely Tiger's responsibility.

She pointed out that our society, especially the black community for years has disregarded the state of matrimony and family.

Yes while there has been factors within the government that have played a part in diminishing what was once the strength of the community, as a people we have to take responsibility for perpetuating this syndrome.

The marriage pact, the vows that are taken and spoken in front of friends, family and religious entity need to hold stronger weight than they do today. Marriage is not an occassion for a big party. It is a serious contract that should not be entered into lightly nor ignored cause times get rough.

Like I said it was one of the most open and public discussion to take place in a long time on topics that more often than not are talked about in barbershops and hair salons within the community.

The sanctity of marriage, racism and the thoughts and reactions of the white community when someone they have admired and helped build up falters. Capitalism, politics and the state of race relations have all been mentioned and talked about in great detail.

Feelings were not spared and both parties agreed to disagree.

Tiger Woods changed his name from Eldrick to Tiger as soon as he started winning.

He identified himself as Cablasian.

He has won majors with margins that were only a dream.

He's made a prolific commercial the likes we have never seen again.

He's broken records and won the grand slam of golfing majors.

He married a Swedish woman and has 2 beautiful kids.

He has apologized for "transgressions" on his website.

He is the first billionaire athlete and he has very carefully crafted the appearance and brand of the perfect athlete.

He's been praised as a golfing god, the best that ever played the game and will ever play the game.

For the last two weeks Tiger has experienced that he is just a mere mortal and he too can falter.

The black community will continue celebrate his wins there will just be a lot of "side eyed" glances and a lot of whispered conversations.

The Thrill is GONE... MAYBE???

2009-12-01T20:22:00.000-08:00

I am a woman of action.

My family and friends would agree. I commit and go about how to do what I have committed myself to expeditiously. Up until 13 days ago I would have blindly sworn on a stack of bibles that I am a woman of action.

What could possibly happen to change that fact?

I hit the proverbial brick wallI

I have not blogged.

What changed? What happened?

If I knew I would tell you. I would, in detail, and adnaseum describe how I came to that, pinpoint the exact second and tell you how I was planning to fix it. If I knew...

I don't. I can't tell you what happened.

Its not for lack of subject matter. In fact, I have various subjects I want to write about. I can't bring myself to write. Its almost like I have "blog depression". As if the thrill and desire to put something out into the universe and see how it will be received is gone.

So after mulling it over and having all these quiet talks with myself, I do what comes naturally to me when I have an issue to deal with or come up against a bump in the road, I talk it out; in this case I blog about it. DO I think this will help anyone down the road? Not sure. I would like to think that I am providing some answers. Most of all I hope to jump start my mind and get the creative juices flowing again.

I have alot to say and very little time to say it in; here's hoping the muse will come back.

The LOOK of Second Class Citizenship

2009-11-17T21:27:00.000-08:00

For the last 20 years the medical guidelines have been that once you reach the age of 40, women should begin to have regular mammograms. At 18 years of age I had my first mammogram. I had just had a physical a couple of weeks before and my doctor gave me a plastic door hanger type card that I could hang from the shower head and showed how to do self check breast exams. One day I decided to practice what I had been depicted on the card. I was looking at myself in the mirror and noticed an abnormality, at least for me, with my breasts; one was larger than the other, noticeably so to me and I was freaking out. In order to calm me down, my mother placed a call to my doctor and an appointment with an ob/gyn was scheduled. At the age of 18 I had my first mammogram and while no lump was discovered, what the mammogram showed was that I had Fibrocystic Breast Condition. This is a condition that can sometimes lead to an increase in having breast cancer and one that is not normally detected in women until they turn 30.

No mammograms until the age of 50!

Discontinue teaching of the breast self exam!

The headlines have been screaming for the last couple of days about the recent US Preventive Services Task Force recommendation would have prevented this condition from being detected and my doctor taking a more proactive approach to my care.

The report recommends that women between the ages of 40 – 49 should not get routine mammograms for early detection. Women ages 50 – 74 should only have them every 2 years. The task force also recommends against teaching breast self-exams for all women and said evidence was insufficient to recommend mammograms for women older than 74.

"The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force is a panel of primary care clinicians (e.g., internists, pediatricians, family physicians, gynecologists/obstetricians, and nurses). Individual members' interests include: decision modeling and evaluation; effectiveness in clinical preventive medicine; clinical epidemiology; the prevention of high-risk behaviors in adolescents; geriatrics; and the prevention of disability in the elderly."

This report could not be more detrimental to women every where. I am 40 years old. I have been having mammograms since I was 18 years old. I have heavy breasts and have been diagnosed with fibrocystic breast condition in both breasts. I have never had a major lump or tumor but preventive care has played an enormous role in this process.

My mammograms have not only given a peace of mind but have also provided me with the information without detection it could possibly matasticize into a hard mass. I know what drinks (with caffeine) to avoid and what foods to eat and not eat in order to ensure that I continue my proactive self care.

My issue is not so much with this report. I believe we are at an age where more women will self advocate for these services. My issue is that as women, we seem to always get the short end of the stick. This is the information that women who are reluctant to have mammograms will use to not have them and avoid getting check ups.

This is not self-victimization post.

As women, we tend to put self care last because we are always looking out for everyone else. As this report was made public, a huge group of girlfriends and I got into a heated email discussion about this very subject. Some are survivors of breast and cervical cancer. For them early detection is what has given them a chance to continue to live life. The rest of us have never experienced any form of cancer but we are concerned and angred by this report none the less.

Second class citizenship or treatment with respect to women is not acceptable.

The report does not make sense. We have living proof in front of us that early detection works and should be encouraged. Waiting is not an option.

Women matter, our lives matter.

A Blogger's Headache... The Art of Blogging

2009-11-17T20:32:00.000-08:00

Blogging is new to me.

Its also one of the most frustrating experiences of my life. My blog is supposed to deal with current events and/or trends via social networking sites, yahoo groups, and listservs. Yet there are times when a subject speaks to your heart and mind that it literally shuts everything else down. I have a feeling this is how folks who write for a living must feel at times.

I have looked at the same social networking sites and email groups that have inspired me in the past and I draw a blank. It’s frustrating because I could have written a witty blog on various Twitter trending topics like: #signstherelationshipisover, #wecoolandall and #whatsbetter.

This one topic will not let me move forward. It makes my head hurt!

If this was any old topic this entire post would be moot. Its not.

Its controversial, explosive and its one that resonates across cultural and racial lines.

Will I write about this topic?

Yes, eventually because I can’t move forward until I do. I can’t write another meaningful blog until I get this out.

What I do know right now is that in order to write and ensure that my voice is heard, I need to think and plan. Words are a powerful tool, even while blogging.

Yes this topic makes me nervous.

Not because it’s controversial but because I will be in essence speaking for those who can’t, those who choose not to and those who still live in the shadows.

So plan and write I must.

To try and do otherwise would be painful and in the end an exercise in futility.

Stay tuned

Missed Opportunities - Greek Lettered Organizations and Human Decency

2009-11-09T14:58:00.000-08:00

People are funny creatures.

Yes! I said funny creatures.

Life for us is full of missed opportunities.

Whouda... shouda... coulda

We spend our childhood rushing to get older and then long to be children again. We are anxious about the future to such an extent that we forget about the present and we live neither in the present or the future.

Like I said missed opportunities.

I see this all the time just by reading various social networking sites or reading the emails that come across the various listservs and yahoo groups which I have access. One such listserv serves as the information well for two Greek lettered organizations, of which I am a member, that for better or worst, are closely intertwined. These organizations serve and support chapters at colleges/ universities whose students are members of band ensembles at their respective schools.

The past two weekends have been particularly harrowing as there have been reports of two highway bus crashes in which members of their university marching bands, en route to games, have been involved. This particular listserv, conversations can and usually are had about almost anything; from the serious (i.e. hazing, expulsions from the organizations, etc) to the ridiculous (i.e. Jell-O wrestling at conventions, who stole what mascot etc). You would think that news of bus crashes involving two different universities on back-to-back weekends would warrant the listservs to explode?

Not these students and not this listserv.

Instead an email posted two days prior to the first bus accident by a member of one of the organizations, and was requesting information overtook and reached what is in my opinion ridiculous proportions.

Missed opportunities.

For all intent purposes I'll call the person who posted the initial email Toviah. T for short. The gist of T's email was to let his fellow members of both organizations know he has relocated to a new area in the Southeastern part of the US and would like to connect with fellow members living in the area. One of the replies he gets comes across as a bit abrupt. He makes a mention of the "tone" of the reply in his response. Another member decides to contact him off list and chastise him for his reply. T being some what exasperated and very opinionated then proceeds to make that email public on the listserv. Regardless of whether he was right or wrong, what ensues is literally almost a week long of insane correspondence on "netiquette" on the listserv, how members should speak to each other and what should or should not be disseminated on the listserv.

Tons of missed opportunities

Alumni members of the organization from the first school involved in the bus crash made mention of the crash and ask for support in terms of instruments that were lost and prayers for those injured. Toviah then tries to re-direct the conversation to focus on the members involved in the bus crash.

"Brothers and sisters please sift through all of this crap to read the important posts about X's band and the questions about the Alumni Ceremony.

It's amazing how this got more play than the important posts... LOL

My prayers go out to those who were involved in that accident and I'll be contributing something to the band. I strongly urge others to open their hearts and piggy banks to do the same."

Does this deter the focus of the sublime to what is really important, concern for your fellow man?

No not at all.

At this point in all of this chatter the hierarchy of the membership decides to post. Now I am thinking it’s the voice of reason coming to the rescue. They will say something about the injured band members. Ask students to focus and assist, serve this band in their time of need.

Nope, not a chance.

What follows is not a reinforced explanation that email is subjective and left to the readers interpretation and that there are greater matters at hand to need attention; instead more opinions are stated about how the first response to Toviah was correct and emails which other inferred that they were being accused of condoning behavior which is detrimental to both organizations.

Like I said, missed opportunities.

This past weekend another bus crash occurred involving another collegiate marching band. An alumni member of the organization and first school that suffered the first accident posted news of the second accident. There has not been an email asking for contact information, prayers being sent up or asking about the well being of any of the students or if any members of the organizations were involved in the accident.

T despite repeated requests to be contacted off list and for folks to be concerned with the band crash and other questions being asked has been personally attacked. Incidents in his personal life have been swept from under the proverbial rug and may be used to bring him to heel so to speak. Personally, I have no idea. I can make the assumption that is the case after speaking with him. People will do and say anything even hitting below the belt, in order to get their point across and shut someone down, so to speak.

Missed opportunities.

This past weekend while members from another university's marching band program experienced a bus crash, alums from the university that suffered the first bus crash flew, drove (from as far as Delaware and Cleveland), set aside family and work responsibilities to pick up an instrument and march at their alma mater's half-time show. Some hadn't marched in a decade. There were lots of bones and muscles hurting and alot of ben-gay being rubbed on that night. When I asked why they did it? The response time after time was it was the least they could do. No matter where they are or what they are doing when the call for support and service is made someone has to answer it.

What troubles me the most is how easily it is to dismiss these events from our daily lives. How easy it is not to care. Points will be made valid or not that all these emails are teaching moments and educate the masses on this particular listserv on avoiding future problems. Valid... yes and no.

Right now all I see is a lot of missed opportunities and none of us are better because of it.

3 BLOGS on Social Networking and Current Events Trends

2009-11-03T21:51:00.000-08:00

There are three blogs that I found that I believe are a frame of reference for my blog. The first one is called Achenblog by Joel Achenbach its an opinion blog at the Washington Postthat focuses on current events and the writer's own opinion and especially how his psyche works in relation to all these opinions and current events . The next blog is Complexity and Social Networks Blog. This blog is out of the Institute for Quantitative Social Science and the Program on Networked Governance, at Harvard University. It covers an array of topics and how it relates to social networking. It gives you alot of insight into different topics and current trending topics on the social network scene that alot of may over look. I like this blog because the topics and its content make me think and entertain a different idea at times. The last blog is Soledad Obrien CNN Blog. Soledad doesn't blog often but then again when she does what she has to say may not be the topic that everyone is focused at the time but because she has such a compelling way of drawing people in with her stories, they quickly become a national interest story.

As I think about my target audience, it is not geared toward an age specific demographic. It is geared towards anyone who is into the social network scene and derives their news and current events from these sites. As I progress with my blog it is a work in progress. With each post I hope to create not only an honest core group of followers but also play a part in the current events and trending topics in heavy rotation.

There Ought to be A LAW!!!

2009-11-03T21:27:00.000-08:00

So last week, Friday I think, I checked on all the listservs and yahoo groups that I have a membership, there are quite a few. A bunch has to do with romance stories. I am a true romance junkie. I lean more towards erotica literature on some days but over all a good story with some conflict, an testosterone alpha male and HEA (happily ever after) is right up my alley when I want to just forget. I wish on Friday I could have gotten a do over and completely forgotten. It was not the way I wish anyone to start their Friday mornings.

A friend on one of the yahoo groups is a foster parent. A few days before a social worker called and asked her if she could take in a four year old little boy. This little boy was physically abused by his mother. There were visible gashes and bruises on his face and upper body. The social worker warned my friend to not be "alarmed" at the rings around the penis area. My friend was completely perplexed.

Rings???

Seems the mother decided that the best way to toilet train her son was to tie his penis with string... Tightly so that he would not "wet the bed at night". As I am driving to work all I can think about is my 2 year old son that I left at the babysitter not 30 minutes prior. All of the women on the listserv are calling for bodily damage to this unknown woman who birthed this innocent child. As I forward the post to facebook, my friends start to chime in and before I know there is a full blown discussion on how there should be a law against people like this who give birth and are not fit to be parents.

As I was trying to reply, I am crying uncontrollably because my mind can't comprehend how one human being can hurt the most innocent of innocent. Her own child. At this point I am raging against the world. The injustice of the scars both physical and emotional that the child will have to endure. I am angry and I hurt right along with all those posting on the group and on facebook calling for this woman's "head" on the proverbial platter. I want to march to this city and force the government to take care of its most innocent citizens. I want to march and rally and create PSAs that will bring light to an all too common problem.

While I voice my opinion on facebook and the group and plot and plan with my friends, I realize it’s nothing more than us being idealistic. We won't affect change to help this child. We won't pass a law that will make it impossible for this woman to do this again.

She's seven months pregnant with her 2nd child.

There ought to be a law!

DEATH OF THE "MODERN" DAY NEWS FORMAT

2009-10-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

During the next seven weeks, my blog will cover a variety of current events and people's perceptions and opinions via online news and social networking sites (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo, AOL etc). The topics will range from a wide spectrum; politics, entertainment, sports, technology, relationships, health... You name it; it will be covered depending on the level of interest and response.

As a society that is more and more technologically dependent, the original news format or news papers and/or the evening news and news shows are dying a slow death. Well known newspapers are struggling for readership, quite a few have had to close. Lives are moving at an even more rapid pace. The idea of sitting down for an hour and watching the news everyday is also slowly fading. Wireless laptops, smart phones and other various forms of instant media keep us connected and "plugged in". These various mediums allow the user to form an anonymous persona and speak their opinions in ways that would be frowned upon in everyday face-to-face communication.

I am fascinated by the opinions that are stated and sometimes spewed and if because we are such an instantly connected society are we ignoring the major news stories of our time and giving credence to what 10 and 15 years ago would never have crossed a news desk. I have no idea what the end result will be, my hope is that at the end of this course we will all walk away a bit more enlightened and cautious about what we as a society deem news.

Introduction

2009-10-28T13:46:00.000-07:00

This is the assignment I dread. Missing the first night of class is never fun. Introducing myself over a blog to my professor and classmates makes my stomach just want to sink with a thud. Writing about myself in a way that does not come across as a. I don't care, b. pompous, c. "holier than thou", d. incoherent or e. "all over the map" has literally been on my mind the last few days. Its not that I can't write an introduction about myself; I'm actually quite adept at it in person.

So who am I? I'm a professional working mom of a 2 year old little boy who works very long hours as an executive assistant for a government contractor in the IT field. Originally from the Miami, Fl area, I have been living in the DC Metro Area for the last 18 years, the last 12 in Virginia. If you ask my core circle of friends, they would say I am extremely outgoing and very direct (to a fault sometimes).

The older I get I have learned to become observant of not only my surroundings but the people I interact and those around me. I have learned that you can tell alot about people just by being observant. I'm actually fascinated by it at times. My focus is in alot of areas, family, work, church and social obligations but second to my son is finishing this degree that I have put off for so many years.