Missed Opportunities - Greek Lettered Organizations and Human Decency

People are funny creatures. 

Yes! I said funny creatures. 

Life for us is full of missed opportunities. 

Whouda... shouda... coulda

We spend our childhood rushing to get older and then long to be children again. We are anxious about the future to such an extent that we forget about the present and we live neither in the present or the future. 

Like I said missed opportunities.

I see this all the time just by reading various social networking sites or reading the emails that come across the various listservs and yahoo groups which I have access. One such listserv serves as the information well for two Greek lettered organizations, of which I am a member, that for better or worst, are closely intertwined. These organizations serve and support chapters at colleges/ universities whose students are members of band ensembles at their respective schools.

The past two weekends have been particularly harrowing as there have been reports of two highway bus crashes in which members of their university marching bands, en route to games, have been involved. This particular listserv, conversations can and usually are had about almost anything; from the serious (i.e. hazing, expulsions from the organizations, etc) to the ridiculous (i.e. Jell-O wrestling at conventions, who stole what mascot etc). You would think that news of bus crashes involving two different universities on back-to-back weekends would warrant the listservs to explode? 

Not these students and not this listserv. 

Instead an email posted two days prior to the first bus accident by a member of one of the organizations, and was requesting information overtook and reached what is in my opinion ridiculous proportions. 

Missed opportunities.

For all intent purposes I'll call the person who posted the initial email Toviah. T for short. The gist of T's email was to let his fellow members of both organizations know he has relocated to a new area in the Southeastern part of the US and would like to connect with fellow members living in the area. One of the replies he gets comes across as a bit abrupt. He makes a mention of the "tone" of the reply in his response. Another member decides to contact him off list and chastise him for his reply. T being some what exasperated and very opinionated then proceeds to make that email public on the listserv. Regardless of whether he was right or wrong, what ensues is literally almost a week long of insane correspondence on "netiquette" on the listserv, how members should speak to each other and what should or should not be disseminated on the listserv.  

Tons of missed opportunities

Alumni members of the organization from the first school involved in the bus crash made mention of the crash and ask for support in terms of instruments that were lost and prayers for those injured. Toviah then tries to re-direct the conversation to focus on the members involved in the bus crash.

"Brothers and sisters please sift through all of this crap to read the important posts about X's band and the questions about the Alumni Ceremony.

It's amazing how this got more play than the important posts... LOL

My prayers go out to those who were involved in that accident and I'll be contributing something to the band.  I strongly urge others to open their hearts and piggy banks to do the same."

Does this deter the focus of the sublime to what is really important, concern for your fellow man? 

No not at all. 

At this point in all of this chatter the hierarchy of the membership decides to post. Now I am thinking it’s the voice of reason coming to the rescue. They will say something about the injured band members. Ask students to focus and assist, serve this band in their time of need. 

Nope, not a chance.

What follows is not a reinforced explanation that email is subjective and left to the readers interpretation and that there are greater matters at hand to need attention; instead more opinions are stated about how the first response to Toviah was correct and emails which other inferred that they were being accused of condoning behavior which is detrimental to both organizations.

Like I said, missed opportunities. 

This past weekend another bus crash occurred involving another collegiate marching band. An alumni member of the organization and first school that suffered the first accident posted news of the second accident. There has not been an email asking for contact information, prayers being sent up or asking about the well being of any of the students or if any members of the organizations were involved in the accident. 

T despite repeated requests to be contacted off list and for folks to be concerned with the band crash and other questions being asked has been personally attacked. Incidents in his personal life have been swept from under the proverbial rug and may be used to bring him to heel so to speak. Personally, I have no idea. I can make the assumption that is the case after speaking with him. People will do and say anything even hitting below the belt, in order to get their point across and shut someone down, so to speak. 

Missed opportunities.

This past weekend while members from another university's marching band program experienced a bus crash, alums from the university that suffered the first bus crash flew, drove (from as far as Delaware and Cleveland), set aside family and work responsibilities to pick up an instrument and march at their alma mater's half-time show. Some hadn't marched in a decade. There were lots of bones and muscles hurting and alot of ben-gay being rubbed on that night. When I asked why they did it? The response time after time was it was the least they could do. No matter where they are or what they are doing when the call for support and service is made someone has to answer it.

What troubles me the most is how easily it is to dismiss these events from our daily lives. How easy it is not to care. Points will be made valid or not that all these emails are teaching moments and educate the masses on this particular listserv on avoiding future problems. Valid... yes and no.

Right now all I see is a lot of missed opportunities and none of us are better because of it.